"He had to take ownership of his education"
Guy's story, part 3/3 - his Mom's perspective
(3/3) “’Why focus on Plan B when I want Plan A to work?’ My son’s words rang in my ears. We had chosen our new home in Southern California on the strength of its public high school, but he wanted to do independent study so he could skateboard full-time.
As a working mother, I had concerns: what quality of education will he get if he homeschools? Will I need to manage his self-study program? I’m not an educator and I didn’t feel prepared to teach him. I also have my own leadership development and training business to run.
Yet Guy was hating school and in constant conflict with his teachers. He wasn’t benefitting from the school’s quality. I asked him to research options. He found a program that assigned weekly work packets, with regular in-person meetings. He would have to maintain a certain average. The process was between him and the school. It didn’t require any teaching from me as a parent.
For months, Guy had insisted, ‘I want to skateboard as my career and use daylight hours to practice and film. If I’m not successful, it will be your fault that I couldn’t put in the time.’ We took this to heart. We realized that there is no guarantee that he’ll succeed if he focuses on skating, but he certainly won’t succeed if he doesn’t skate. We also looked at the alternatives. If independent study didn’t work out, he could return to school and graduate a year later, but setting him up to live with regret would be irreversible.
We have friends who were more forceful in pushing a traditional path, but we’re not like that. We believe in individuals pursuing their values and we weren’t worried about how people might view our decision. We also knew that Guy has persistence out the wazoo. He wouldn’t miss his opportunity.
So we agreed to his plan. He had to take ownership of his education. One miss and it was back to regular school. His motivation to do his work increased and it was a relief to see his grades improve. More so, it was a relief to no longer see him suffering. It removed a huge stressor in our family and our relationship got better. Guy graduated in June 2019, and he skates full-time now. We’re proud of the progress he’s making towards his chosen goals.”
I’m really interested in the process by which young people and their parents navigate decisions around education and career. If you have faced a struggle in this space, I’d love to hear your story! Comment or message me.